Hujan dan Kertas

We were two strangers waiting on the bench quietly hoping for something to break the silence.

We were two strangers curiously wanting to know about each other’s name and phone number but too shy to ask anyway.

We were two strangers having the most awkward moment when we shake our hands and pretend we’re ‘okay’.

We were two strangers finally greeted each other and eagerly tell stories about each of us

We were two friends sharing our dreams and hopes and all the plans we have for life.

We were two friends fighting over something silly and afterward laughing about it.

We were two friends and there’s a gap between us without anyone ever realizing about it.

We were two friends having dispute over someone’s stupid actions and seemed to not settle the arguments.

We were two friends strolling the timeline without knowing the cracks were widening.

We were two friends whose arguments started to make us standing in silence.

We were two friends who didn’t speak to each other in a long time.

We were two friends who became loosely related to each other anymore, strangely stared into blank space.

We are two strangers having known for some times then suddenly all of it gone, erased from memory.

We were two strangers waiting on the bench quietly hoping for nothing would be the same.

(Inspired from Wongfu’s “Strangers, Again” and a little bit of reality)

17 July 2011

22.10

if only I could be on top of the mountain

I would scream my hope to the skies and the valleys

to incinerate all the vague thoughts and uncertainties

to widen my shoulders and deepen my breath

because I need those shoulders so I can be relied on

because I want to breath deeper and longer

since every breath I take

is you.

if only I could tell all the stories; of miseries and hopes

I would write the best tragic comedy of love

to dispel all the misty mind and blurry thoughts

to make myself braver, brave enough to speak the truth

because I fear the worst thing to happen

because I fear what may come after

since what I fear the most

is losing you.

 Ajie

15 July 2011

1.19 AM

lately, i have been struck by this flashing image of me holding a girl's, while she's doing her works from office in a study room, in the middle of the night. crazy thing is that, i'm absolutely sure that it's not a memory of mine, because, well, i haven't own a house yet. crazier thing is, that i don't even have girlfriend. because i'm absolutely sure that i'm holding someone who is important to me in that image. to be honest, it quite makes me wonder what's happening to me. there are several theories which me and my friend (thanks, Zeva!) came up. ok, i'm exaggerating it to sounds like there are a lot of theories. it's only two.

first, is that i'm having this phychic ability, a premonition, or an ability to see future events. that being said, i'm seeing an event, which opens a one of the most important things: that girl is my future girlfriend/wife. but the problem is that i cant really remember her face, even if the images keeps on flashing in my mind. T.R.O.U.B.L.E.

second theory, and it's quite cliche, my friend said that i'm having this underconsciousness when my mind is trying to tell me that i'm LONELY. ha! i told her that i'm not lonely at the moment, and she said it could happen, when you are actually in some kind situations and you consciously deny it. but it's there, and it's really what you feel. and i think she's right. i have to keep the second (of me being loney as the trigger) as another option why i'm having this flashing images.

so, i've been bothered by it and the only way i know how to ease the pressure is to write it. and because i like to write poems, then i wrote it. half an hour ago. dawn (is it dawn already?) is surely a good time to write. :P
i intended to write a sonet, a shakespere-kind-of sonet, but it turns out ugly. and this is what i wrote (and also i would like to say, good night!):

a lit of burning candles light the room
i feel the warmth on the air as i walk in through the wooden door
an echoing sound in my ears, a chant of monsoon
The rain is falling outside the windows; to you it's a joy to cherish for
then the rain stops, darling, after three days of never-ending thoughts
for a brief moment, i could see your shivering shoulders
piles of papers to be done, and tired eyes to be fought
don't you see? the half-moon is on the sky, beautiful as ever
and so do you
suddenly, i couldn't hold longer to just stare
as i walk to, on that chair, i once again know why i am there
i touch your shivering shoulders and kiss your head
then you smile at me, a heavenly smile which bestowed upon you to light your world
on that very moment, i believe you are there just for me
the only bright star on the gloomy hour
but without warning, the moment is slowly fading away
the flashing image of this night begins to blur
all that's left is me staring blankly at the night's sky
a daydream delusion, after all
which strikes me like the furious militias of Rome
which leaves me wondering, what was that? and when was this memory?
but it's not even a memory of mine!
because i don't even know who you are!
who are you?
who are you, O my bright star?
who are you, O the angel from afar?
who are you?


Aji
27 March 2011
3.34 AM

Fallen leaves of autumn, it may swollen by numbers as weeks go by.
No more songs of the nightingales, only mere larks' chirps in the night
Thy songs of desperations, O larks, art those lies? A sublime message of the sky?
I shall believe thy lullaby, for I am in needs of a light.
A beacon on the seashore, for I cannot find a way home. A night's candles which shed a light on a gloomy heart.
A long time have I been trapped in this dark room.
The lark's song, a mere sound I hear, held dearest as if it's the only cure of sad.
O gods of the night, thou shall convey thine enormous words.
Let the sun be arise, let secrets be unspoken!
For I am unmanned, unmended, and unmade of my unsheathed sword.
O gods of the night, let the curse be broken!
For I shall travel far and away to buds of May.
And with empty heart I cannot love nor live, nay!


March 21, 2011
Aji
03.21 AM

putri malam, lelah asa menapak senja

mengejar pelangi tanpa kata-kata

bila sang bulan tak mampu membaca

berkata bintang fajar terlalu indah

maka,sudahi saja lari sang dinamika

biarkan bintang tetap melihat di ujung antariksa

dan biarkan hari berlalu mengerjap mata

sehingga engkau tak lagi sendiri dalam malam

karena cahaya sang bintang

akan lama sebelum akhirnya sampai

dan benar-benar menerangi malam

tersadar dan pada saat yang sama

sang bintang telah menjadi supernova

 ajie

bandung, 23 oktober 2010

00.23 WIB

dia tetap akan selalu tersenyum
tersipu dengan sapaan malam
menegasikan dingin hujan menjadi derasnya nyanyian
oh! tatkala andromeda menyembunyikan surga
sudah ku melangkah ribuan cahaya
sudah ku melihat sedari dulu
dan ratapan bumi takkan bisa terdengar hingga galaksi sana
oh, galaksi indah yang berada dalam gelap
yang menghanyutkan asa dan membuai dengan keheningan
kegelapan yang bercahaya, kerling manis para bintang
mengingatkan secercah mimpi yang hilang
oh, bulan yang tersembunyi
tak dapatkah sedikit bahasaku kau mengerti
karena bila bias kata-kata tak luput dari tarian jari,akankah kau mengerti?
oh bulan yang bersembunyi


Aji
Bandung, 20 Oktober 2010
3.05 AM

langit biru, sore ini hujan kembali datang
dengan jutaan tetes kenangan ia menghujam
senja tadi tidak lagi temaram; ada sebuah penyesalan
dan dirimu tidak lagi benderang; hanya kelam
dua ribu kata-kata tak mampu memberikan bahagia
saat bintang senja tetap memberikan sinarnya, engkau menolak
karena persepsimu tak mampu memberikan cahaya yang sama
ketahuilah, tak pernah sedikitpun ia mengharap cahaya
bintang senja takkan jemu dan gusar, walau temaram tetap kelam
begitulah adanya; hanya pendar tulus
dan itu aku

malam biru, biarkan aku merindu!
walau luka terperi adalah obat jitu
satu sudut di langit itu adalah dirimu
tak mungkin untuk bulan sekalipun mengganggu
satu sudut dari luasnya alam semesta
sebuah cerita dari putaran roda dunia
akan selalu ada, tak peduli waktu dan ruang
maka percayalah, pendar itu tetap akan disana
menemani udara malam tanpa pernah berkata-kata
biarkan saja, diriku dan dirimu
saling menyapa sekejap untuk kemudian berpisah alur waktu
siang, dan malam
karena itu malam biru
biarkan aku merindu!

aji
9 Oktober 2010
3:45 am